Darian Senn-Carter:
Autism and other forms of neurodiversity, it's a natural and necessary part of human evolution and diversity. And just like an allistic person, or person that is non-autistic, brings unique sets of strengths and gifts, so does someone that is autistic.
Dan Baum:
What if the key to understanding yourself wasn't in fixing what's wrong, but embracing what's always been uniquely you? In this episode, we talked to Dr. Darian Senn-Carter, AACC's director of Homeland Security and Criminal Justice Institute. We explore how growth doesn't always follow a timeline and sometimes redefining yourself starts with learning to see your own story in a new light. It's a conversation about self-discovery, giving yourself grace, and how seeing the world differently can be a source of strength even when faced with struggle. I'm Dan Baum and you're listening to Redefine U.
So full disclosure, Darian and I, we've known each other seven, eight years or so. We went through the coaching program here at the college. We were in the pilot. I guess we were the guinea pigs.
Darian Senn-Carter:
We were in the first cohort. And since then, I've just enjoyed just connecting with you. And so today is going to be just one of our coffee chats.
Dan Baum:
Yeah, I'm excited for that. So Darian, you recently had a diagnosis, had a pretty big impact on you. So talk to me more about this diagnosis, how it came about.
Darian Senn-Carter:
Well, April is Autism Awareness Month, and I think it's no coincidence that a year ago, this week actually, I received my official diagnosis of autism. It's provided context for my lived experiences. It's provided information for me to be kinder to myself, to give myself more grace, and to fully just embrace all the things that I've always known were there.
Dan Baum:
So what advice or tips can you offer on how to frame our conversation or specific definitions you want to highlight?
Darian Senn-Carter:
Sure. I think first we'll start with autism and I think that autism is a difference. Yes, I think presently it is a disability. It isn't inherently a disability, but presently it is a disability. And it is one that is just a difference, a way of processing information, of receiving information, of experiencing the world differently.
Dan Baum:
Since you had this diagnosis fairly recently, I'm thinking there's sort of a pre-diagnosis Darian and a post-diagnosis Darian. Tell me a little more about pre-diagnosis.
Darian Senn-Carter:
Sure. I think I'll begin with most of my life, I've always felt different and something that I've just leaned into and embraced. And this gives me a little bit more information about myself. It always felt as if others had a rule book of how to navigate throughout the world and society, and I just didn't have that rule book. And so I've had to learn through experiences, through observation, through careful practice, if you will, of how to navigate throughout the world.
Autism is often characterized by differences in communication, differences in social interaction, and differences in structure and routine. And I say differences intentionally because prior to this diagnosis, I kind of accepted also that there were challenges in those three areas, but really it's a difference in those three areas. And those differences have led me to be a very organized person, a very intentional person. My family makes jokes that I have a plan for a plan, an itinerary for an itinerary, an agenda for an agenda. And much of that is true.
And I think pre-diagnosis Darian was, and I continue to be this way, extremely ambitious. I think I'm very focused on the impact that I have in the world around me and I think my life's work is empowerment. And so pre-diagnosis Darian was one that had many things on my plate. I've always balanced many roles, many activities. And with the diagnosis, it's given me a pause to make sure that what I do is truly aligned with myself, that the goals that I go after, the experiences that I seek, that they are authentic to me and not necessarily prescribed by society or what I think society would prescribe to me.
Dan Baum:
You've also, you said you had a lot on your plate. You've been a county council member, you have a background in special education. What was it like to know that you worked in special education and were unaware about this aspect of yourself?
Darian Senn-Carter:
I consider myself to be extremely self-aware. And with my background as a special educator, all the courses that I've taken, all the years of training and working with young adults with disabilities, the notion that this evaded and eluded me was something that was really hard for me to accept and it forced me to look at autism differently. It forced me to look at disabilities differently. And for the most part, these experiences are described on the impact on other people versus the impact of the condition or disability or disorder on the person that has whatever the disability would be.
Dan Baum:
So what was it like to actually get the diagnosis? What was your reaction?
Darian Senn-Carter:
By the time I received my diagnosis, I had already put all the pieces together, but I needed that formal diagnosis for my myself. So prior to my diagnosis, there were months and I would even say maybe two years of intense introspection and research and exploring and learning what autism is from a lived experience. And with that in mind, by the time I received my diagnosis, I had accepted that.
It was difficult for me to, in a sense, assess how autism has impacted me throughout my life, to put a name to some of the challenges that I've experienced, to put a name to some of the pressure, to put a name to some of the things that I just felt that everyone dealt with. And to know that I had, to be quite honest, challenges in these areas, but still had been able to achieve and experience was sobering in a sense. It provided a space for me to grieve in a sense. I had to grieve how hard I've been on myself, how relentless. I pride myself in perseverance and grit and resilience and those things are certainly my strengths, but to see that I was navigating things in a way that other people just weren't navigating.
Dan Baum:
When you were doing your research, what were some of the things that really struck you or surprised you?
Darian Senn-Carter:
I think for me, the value that neurodiversity brings to the world, that autism and other forms of neurodiversity, they're not diseases or anything to be cured. It's a natural and necessary part of human evolution and diversity and it encompasses a lot more than autism. And so ADHD would be a part of that, dyslexia. There's a long list of different areas that all are part of this family or community, if you will, where it's just a difference in brain type. And just like an allistic person or person that is non-autistic brings unique sets of strengths and gifts, so does someone that is autistic.
Some of the common things that I've always experienced, I think was really surprising for me to see, such as sensory sensitivities. I prefer natural light, so much so that in my office, even today, I don't turn the lights on in my office and I like to have the natural light come through. I don't turn them on ever unless someone enters my office and then I'll say, "Can you please turn the lights on for us to have a discussion?"
I think that things that I've been told were my strengths all of my life, many of them are attributed to autism. My deep focus, my creativity, problem-solving skills, ability to recognize patterns and attention to detail, that these are things that I have used to my benefit, but they're also common within the autistic community.
I think learning more about the autistic community allowed me to see just how much privilege I have and it has charged me to be an advocate. So much of where I am today in this podcast episode isn't really just for me. It's because I know that a lot of my community are unable to speak verbally or to communicate in the ways that I am able to and it doesn't come without challenges. I think that knowing that preparing for things, there's this intense preparation for things, even things that I enjoy, and then afterwards, there's this processing period where I need time and isolation. I need time to decompress, things that are common within the autistic community.
I think learning that 1% of the world has autism was surprising to me. Also, looking at the data allowed me to just look at my own life and lived experience. I'm married and I see that it's not as common within the autistic community. About 9% of the autistic community is reported to be married versus about 50% in the non-autistic community. About 50% of autistic adults live with family members or caregivers. And I live at home with my husband and we own a home. I recognize that my lived experience looks different than others.
College education, I couldn't find really good numbers on this, but around 2% of all college students are estimated to have autism with even lower graduation rates. And here I am, I've earned a PhD, a doctorate degree. I recognize that as privilege. And the autistic community is about 85% unemployed or underemployed. And here I am in a career that I love and I'm really great at it, I hate to say. But that's a privilege, and so, I want to speak out for those reasons. And I think all of those things may contribute to why I may have missed this within myself, I think why I may have been missed by my medical professionals, I think perhaps why I wasn't diagnosed as a child.
Dan Baum:
What are some misconceptions that people may have that you want to dispel?
Darian Senn-Carter:
I think the first is that there are these common examples or exemplars that we see of autism that either you're completely nonverbal or you have exceptional intellect or you're a savant in some way. And those things certainly exist within my community, but that isn't to say that everyone has the same experience and to recognize that and not to expect that or to put people into those categories because the majority of people with autism are not going to fit those categories. They're going to be somewhere in between.
Beyond that, another is that autistic people lack empathy and I think that is very far from the truth. I feel things very deeply. That autism is an intellectual disability and it is not. Yes, there are comorbidities or other conditions that may be common, if you will, within the autistic community, but autism in itself is not an intellectual disability. That there is a cure for autism. And so I was born autistic. I will continue my life autistic and I will die autistic. There's no treatment, there is no cure. There's just a difference in how my brain has developed. And recognizing that those differences are just differences, they're not deficits.
Dan Baum:
How have you seen them be strengths for you?
Darian Senn-Carter:
Well, I think that may tie into my children's book, The Boy Who Dreamed Big: How One Boy's Autism Became His Superpower. And the title in itself is a conversation starter. And I say that because I think that autism inherently is not a disability, and I firmly and strongly believe that. But presently, the world does not accommodate those with autism, those that are autistic. I recognize that it comes with challenges and that many people experience those challenges like myself every day. But for me, the superpower came in giving me that awareness, providing that awareness, that piece of information that I've always missed.
And there are common characteristics of strengths within the autistic community, and I would say that it is my attention to detail. I think that something that I'm really, my passion. I've been told my entire career that you're so passionate. I think that there's something that I care about, you'll probably sense that passion in me and I'll be relentless with pursuing that passion. I think that my sense of justice, I think that I have a strong sense of empathy. I have a deep care to leave the world better than what it is now. And I think all of those things are part of how autism has manifested within me.
Dan Baum:
A lot of what we hear about autism is around children. What has been the challenge from an adult perspective?
Darian Senn-Carter:
Generally speaking, I think society forgets that autistic children grow to become autistic adults. And so I don't have a number here, a percentage, but the majority of resources are all dedicated to children. And once you become an adult, there is a lack of resource, a lack of support, a lack of just guidance and direction.
And so for myself, finding a medical community that could assess and diagnose me with autism was a challenge in itself. There are many places in our area, in our state, in our region, but most of them don't accept adults. And the few that do accept adults perhaps don't accept insurance or maybe didn't take my insurance. And the ones that did align, the waiting list was so long that it would've been 6 months to a year, and in some cases 36 months. It was, I think the longest that I heard I would have to wait.
Dan Baum:
Wow. What supports have you found or relied on as part of this journey?
Darian Senn-Carter:
Well, my mother. My mother is my biggest supporter in life, and I would have to give her a shout-out today, so I'm glad I've done that. Other than that, I think finding a sense of community. In the past few years, I've been looking for deepening my sense of community in ways that I didn't realize I was seeking. And so after my diagnosis, I joined a few organizations where they have support groups for adults with autism. And that has been tremendously helpful for me to know that I'm not alone, to know that there are others that experience life in the way that I do. But also that there's a support group to help us navigate these challenges and differences and to do it with pride and to embrace it.
Dan Baum:
What connections do you see between your teaching and director roles and other experiences and identities that you have?
Darian Senn-Carter:
I think that everything is connected. Within my career, but more broadly, everything is connected in some way. And the concept that comes to mind immediately would be intersectionality. And it's really difficult for me to tease out the impact of one demographic of myself versus another. And so for me as an African American, I went to a predominantly white institution. Working in a field where I am a minority is nothing new to me. To be a member of the LGBTQ community, and I'm proud of that, that's another marginalized, minoritized community that I'm a part of. And so this was just something else to add to those labels.
And because I've had that previous experience, I really challenged myself to fully embrace this new label. And I think because of those previous experiences, I was able to get here a lot quicker. And within my career, I take all the different experiences, all the titles, positions, and I could take something from each of them and use that into my current role. And so in my current role, I see the value of disability awareness and to move beyond awareness, to provide tools for people and to let them know that it's okay to have an open and candid conversation. If you don't know, it's okay to ask a question. We're not going to always get everything right, but it's the intention behind that.
And so within my role here at the college, we have incorporated not just disability training, but specifically autism training within our police academy, and I'm proud of that. That our recruits, when they finish our program and they are out in the field as police officers, that they have not just awareness of neurodiversity and autism and the differences within the community, but they have resources to understand and to do their jobs more effectively.
And in doing so, the neurodiverse community is less likely to have traumatic experiences with law enforcement. They're less likely to be victimized by crime. They're more likely to receive the resources that they need. And so our recruit officers, they go into the field and they're able to implement diversions. And so not every person that a law enforcement officer encounters should end up in our criminal justice system. So we could divert them in a way that is helpful for everyone.
I think that within the college, I have chosen to be brave, and I think it wasn't intentional. I think that someone at the college somehow found out about my children's book and congratulated me. And prior to that, I don't think I was going to mention it with very little fanfare. But I've embraced that and it actually supports the reason that I'm choosing to be brave. I don't think that I'm being brave. I think that I'm just being authentic. But I recognize that in doing that, it does take bravery and courage.
And me doing this, it provides a safe space for other colleagues to share perhaps their neurodivergence or perhaps that they have children that are neurodiverse and many of them have confided in me. It's really comforting and rewarding to hear. I'm humbled to have colleagues approach me and say, "I never share with anyone, but I have ADHD. Thank you for being brave and for sharing." And I think in doing this, we will better support our colleagues, we'll better support our students, and that will trickle to improving our society in the way that I hope.
Dan Baum:
Sounds like you're being very intentional too about supporting neurodiversity in your classroom and with the police academy. Are there some tips that you would recommend?
Darian Senn-Carter:
There's a quote that I use quite often, and it is if you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person, and I think that is so true. We understand that autism is a spectrum, but I think it's difficult to really conceptualize what that means. And recognizing that yes, there are some commonalities, but how they manifest and if they manifest is very unique to every individual autistic person. Autism looks different in every single person that has autism. And to recognize that is a way to understand differences, to not jump to conclusions with others, to be okay asking questions, to be okay being curious about others.
Dan Baum:
What do you hope listeners will gain most from our conversation?
Darian Senn-Carter:
What I hope the listeners will gain is that autism is a difference and not a deficit. To understand that we're all different in many ways, that we all have unique gifts, that we all have our specific challenges, and that is true of the autistic community. I think that the more that we can embrace who we are authentically, the better we are as a society. I think that the more that we provide space for everyone to show up authentically, the better society will be. The more that we can equip those with the resources, with the right circumstances and environment, I think the better society will be.
Dan Baum:
So we've covered a lot of territory that speaks to the theme of our podcast, but I just feel compelled to ask directly, Darian, with your diagnosis and continued awareness around autism, how are you redefining yourself?
Darian Senn-Carter:
In many ways, I feel that I have a second chance at life. I feel that I have not just turned the page of a story or a chapter, that it's a new book or a new series, if you will. I recognize that I have a lot of life ahead of me. And with this information, I again am kinder to myself. I'm gentler with myself. I'm more accepting of myself. With that in mind, I am allowing myself to have more fun, I think to be creative. This past year has been not just about learning about myself, but also loving myself and falling in love with myself, and I'm excited for what is to come next. Had you asked me a year ago, would I publish a children's book? My answer would've been no. It wasn't on my radar. I think that having this openness is really a beautiful thing.
Dan Baum:
You mentioned this is a new chapter for you, so what's the title of this new chapter for you, Darian?
Darian Senn-Carter:
Peace, love, and joy.
Dan Baum:
I love it. Dr. Senn-Carter, I want to thank you for your time, your candor and openness, and for just being the awesome person that you are. I'm so glad you reached out so we could have this discussion.
Darian Senn-Carter:
Thank you, Dan.
Dan Baum:
It's been a pleasure.
We all have those moments, times when something clicks and suddenly things make more sense, not because anything has changed, but because we finally see it differently. Darian's story is a reminder that redefining ourselves isn't always about reinvention. It can be about clarity and understanding who we've been all along. His diagnosis didn't change who he was. It offered the chance to be fully, authentically him. Sometimes the world sees difference as a deficit, but with the right context, we may realize that the differences we embrace can become strengths. Darian's journey encourages all of us to connect the dots of what makes us unique and make space for others to do the same.
Redefine U is a production of Anne Arundel Community College. Our executive producer is Allison Baumbusch. Our producer and editor is Amanda Behrens. Others who help with this podcast include Alicia Renehan, Ricky Hartford, and Ben Pierce. Special thanks to Dr. Darian Senn-Carter. Find show notes, how to subscribe, and other extras on our website, aacc.edu/podcast. I'm your host and creator of this podcast, Dan Baum. Thanks for listening.